Lisa Yaeger, LPC

  What I’d like to do right now is ride my bike, swim, do yoga for the second time today, meditate, eat cookies and drink iced coffee even though its 2 p.m. and it may keep me awake tonight. I would also like to work in my garden. Any garden, really. I’ve been known to pull weeds at the neighbors house just because I see them. I’m itching to redo an overgrown patch in front of my friend’s lovely lawn, because its a mess and I could make it better in an hour. I’d love to take off this afternoon and play. I’d drive to the mountains and hike. Or I could bake something with all those overripe bananas I’ve been saving in the freezer. This is called  productive procrastination ,  and I am so good at this it should be call  Lisa’s favorite work avoidance strategy. Who needs to work all the time? Not me. Once I have the thought, “on Thursday, I’ll write a blog”, the intention is out there and the  avoidance begins ! I have been so productive today. I went to the grocery...

  If there’s something worse than losing the love of your life, I can’t think of what it could be. Just thinking that that might happen feels devastatingly sad. I can feel my body collapse. I’m remembering the loss of a relationship that I thought was the most important one of my life,  at the time . Those losses left me traumatized for decades. So, if that’s where you are, I understand. Looking back, I wished that I had reached out for professional help right away, and for as long as it took, to get my zest for life back. For a long time, I resisted even the phrase “love of my life“ because it was so painful. When I finally did find a therapist to help me unravel this grief and loss, the course of that took a very specific path. Now, I’m not thinking that everyone’s recovery from a relationship break up will look just like mine. I know there will be some common elements. This was years ago, so bear with me. Here’s how it went. I found a therapist I liked and trusted (very imp...

  What can you do when you’re feeling stressed, unmotivated, or derailed by things out of your control? Does this picture fit for you? You’ve accomplished some important goals.  Your life is pretty good but you’re uninspired, a little bored, a little restless. You’re waiting for the next thing  – a job, a new relationship, a new adventure. Or you don’t expect any big changes but you want something to provide some  joy and excitement. When you’re in this place, I recommend that you work on two things: The inside  and  the outside. First, the inside. Take some time to think through or write about  how you want to feel  about your life and about yourself. Try to see your internal world of many “parts”  who revolve around your inner “Self.” Some parts are unhappy, lonely, or angry. Some may be content to let life be just as it is. Some are pushing for a big change. Your “Self” is you, who notices these parts with different feelings and helps them...

  Is it your relationship that makes you happy? When its not going so well, is it your relationship that makes you unhappy? For many people the answer is yes. Definitely yes! If you are like many of my clients, you may be frustrated because your partner is not willing to come to couples therapy with you. If they don’t want to come, you’re stuck, right? Actually no. You are not stuck! You can do so much to help your relationship by learning good relationship skills yourself. In fact, I love teaching the motivated one (is that you?) how to see differently and act differently. And guess what? It works. You learn and your relationship begins to grow. Are you wondering what you’ll learn and how it helps? I’ll tell you. (Some of this you might already know. Because I know that you’re the motivated one.) Since I’ve become a well-trained couple’s therapist, I’ve noticed a shift in how  I work with individuals . I still tune in and feel empathy for you, my client. I’m still on your sid...

  I woke up with a headache again this morning. Red wine. And not very much of it either. I feel angry and frustrated. I tell myself, I’m never drinking again. I feel silly that I can’t just have an evening drinking a moderate amount of alcohol. Well, truthfully, I can and I do. But then I don’t sleep well. I feel awful in the morning and I swear off alcohol forever. Until dinner time and I want wine with dinner. And on Friday, I want wine for Happy hour with my sister or my partner or my friends. There are so many reason to drink wine. For you it may be Vodka. Or beer. Or the ubiquitous Margarita. Name your poison, they say. Isn’t that interesting? Eighty-Seven percent of adults drink alcohol at some point in their lives. When you look through your own filter, it may look like everyone else is handling it just fine. They don’t seem to worry about it. Everybody over does it sometimes. We have a dozen names for a hangover. So I asked myself, why am I so unhappy in the morning? Why c...

  I have client who has trouble speaking. Sometimes, she says, she doesn’t feel like she’s allowed to talk about certain things. She did not chatter away, as a teenager, processing every conversation, event, thought and endless feelings like I remember doing. I asked around. Nope, many of my friends, now adults, didn’t get to do that either. There were some things I would never talk about. Even though I chattered, I didn’t mention to my friends that I worried about my Dad drinking too much. I didn’t say I was ashamed because I lied sometimes. I didn’t ask if any other girls felt weird when boys said ‘call me when you’re 18’ and I didn’t know why they would say that. I played it cool. Now, my personal value is that we are allowed to talk about everything that concerns us. We do not have to play it cool. Not sure its safe? Let’s try this disclaimer. In the right setting, with good timing, and shall we say, good manners, you get to speak your mind. You get to say whatever is pressing ...

  Do you wish you could sleep like you used to? Do you know you aren’t getting enough sleep, but haven’t done anything about it? Sleep problems are some of the most frustrating symptoms of anxiety and depression. There are things you can do to help yourself sleep better. The habits we fall into slowly over time are setting us up for sleep deprivation. I’m always surprised when someone tells me they sleep well. In fact, I’m envious. Somewhere after my 20’s, perfect sleep began to elude me. I’ve been searching for the solution and I’ve gathered a list of strategies to get better sleep. Not perfect sleep. Better. Try some of these if you need better sleep too. – Create a bedtime ritual to encourage your mind and body to slow down and get sleepy. – Evaluate your bedroom. The best bedrooms for sleep are dark, cool, quiet and free of clutter. Make the changes that are realistic for your life and budget. Negotiate with your partner and pets to get more serenity in the space you share. –...